After a personal visit by God himself, the eccentric construction worker Gary Faulkner takes the decision to embark on an adventure in the badlands of Pakistan to bring Al-Qaeda's leader Osama Bin Laden to justice.

High school student Neil (Jesse Carere) has vowed to remain celibate due to his religious beliefs, as his church wants him to be part of a religious ceremony that requires him to be a virgin. Neil is unaware that his church, which practices Satanism, is planning to sacrifice him to Satan in order to prevent 1000 years of peace on earth. Once Neil becomes aware of this plan, he and his best friend Matt (Daryl Sabara) make plans to find a woman to take Neil's virginity and thus save him from certain death.